Fear:Cancer's dark shadow and companion.
While Mr. Mark is very brave, he still has his fears: fear the MRI will bring bad news, fear his chest pain or kidney problems are due to metastasis, fears about finances, fears he will get worse or die before he gets to do some things he wants to do like go to some major league baseball games, go camping with his friend Allen, sail again, and work with me on a novel, and fears that I know nothing about.
He is fearful he will get worse and not be able to come home so we are bringing him home this coming Friday. There are no inexpensive tickets at this time and nothing in the Fall, so far. After he researched and researched tickets as did I, we decided to bite the bullet and just charge the ticket. Uncle Bob and Aunt Dorothy sent money to help as did friend Mark Foster and MEDICO's executive director Lynda Peters. Mark and I will find the rest.
Mr. Mark is so encouraged and cheered up by people writing him notes and helping him. His goal is to get his own apartment in the states and work again. Dr. Theera told him a couple of weeks ago that he has a 50% chance of living a year which really depressed him at first, but his sister, Stephanie, reminded him that he was told 18 months ago that he had three months or less to live. We hope Mark will continue to stretch those percentages and predictions to their outer limits.
Stephanie made some calls to the Veteran's administration and yesterday she and I were in Houston to visit the new VA hospital associated with the Baylor school of Medicine and MD Anderson. Mark's doctor in Thailand was a medical officer at the VA in Houston at one time and is acquainted with medical personnel there. Dr. Theera understands that at some point in time we could run out of money to pay cash for treatment in Thailand. While we are dealing with one day at a time and one problem at a time, we have to think about the future too.
A few days ago Mr. Mark and I talked accross the long distance from Austin Texas to Bangkok, Thailand. He had just come in from a walk in the park. "Sweating and starving" were his answers to the question: "How are you?" Much better to be sweating and hungry than to be depressed. Mark has gotten mail from some of you that has cheered him immensely. Thank-you for anything you do to cheer Mark up and/or for your prayers and positive thoughts for him.
2 comments:
Mark, you have to be the bravest most strong willed and determined person I know. Live for today, be thankful for the past. NONE of us know what tomarrow will bring! The future is uncertain for everyone on this planet! So all we can do is make the most out of each and every day that passes us by. We can only take advantage of the present. Maximise and utilize the time we KNOW we have. But to fear the future, is time wasted on an unknown event or time in our lives that NONE of us has control over. What will be , will be. Good or bad. Fair or unfair. Pleasant or unpleasant. We have no control over tomarrow, none of us! So let's maximize today! I am not saying don't plan for the future. Just don't get caught up in what "might" happen, and take advantage of what you CAN do today. That's life. Love you bro!
Bruce
Mark,
I just read over all that crap I wrote. And I was "rambling". I think you know what I am TRYING to say. And no one has demonstrated better than you the act of living life to it's fullest! Just keep on doing what your doing..it seems to be working!
Bruce
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